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Satire

Student Terrorises School With Local Music

Satire written by Siv

Following the recent success of local bands making it into the mainstream, secondary 4 student, Reggie Chong of an unidentified secondary school has been making his rounds around his school, harrassing his fellow schoolmates and teachers by preaching about the latest songs by his beloved local bands.

He started his rampage when school first began in January, while his fellow classmates were busy mugging and burning the midnight oil for the upcoming O level exams in approximately 10 months time then. He went on to his fellow classmates about how The Observatory were "rocking his socks" and "all set to dominate the music scene in Singapore". Explained his classmate, Marilyn Neo, "He was going on about how the band has an electronic musician creating effects and so on... I mean what the booger man? I'm more worried about my upcoming physics O level paper, there's this topic on electromagnetics and I don't know nuts and this idiot keeps taunting me with his electronic bullshit."

His form teacher, Miss Maria Nadarajan had even more to add on. "Ever since Ronin released their new album, that imbecile kept calling me 'Black Maria'. I mean I'm Indian and I have dark skin but this is ridiculous man!"

Reggie's class monitor, Frankie who wanted to remain anonymous, said that the homework that Reggie hands in every day, irregardless of what subjects they are, are sure to contain something which wasn't supposed to be there. For example, his last english essay which was supposed to be about the state of politics in the western world ended up as an essay about socio-political issues and then he started praising local hardcore bands like Hamartia and Jackalhyde for spreading the message to the masses. He also ended his essay with lyrics from the Jackalhyde song titled "Sick and tired". Basically going, "I'm sick, and tired... getting sick... and tired." He got a D for that paper.

When we spoke to Reggie about this, he went on to tell us that Singaporeans are still not appreciative about local music and that western music has polluted our mindsets, always making us think that western bands are more superior to us. Then he subconsciously started humming the tune of Serenaide's "The Girl From Katong" and started to tell us about how his life changed when he first met the girl of his dreams who told him that she would only go out with him if he supported her friend's band. And now, about 2 years later after she had about 6 different boyfriends since then, he has finally decided to let go, but not his love for local music. He then sniffed a little, wiped his tears and went to his cupboard to get Astreal's 1997 OuijaBlush CD and play it on his stereo. He then reminded us that local music will never die.

* Disclaimer: All subjects mentioned in the above article is purely fictional and any resemblance to any person living or dead is pure coincidential.
 
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