Local Metal Band To Play For NDP 2004
Satire written by Siv
It is confirmed, the organising committee for this year's National Day Parade has decided that this year's National Day Parade (NDP) will feature local talents, more than ever in the nation's annual large scale propaganda show this August.
Last year we had breakdancers and graffiti artists on stage, doing their stuff for about 45 odd seconds showing Singaporeans what they were made off. But after that, the organising committee was flooded with letters with requests asking the committee to feature more local talent involved in other forms of art.
Explained Spokesman for the organising committee, Mr Donatello Tan, "We read all the letters and feedback we recieved and even though half of them were undecipherable with words like 'Punk's Not Dead' or the weird symbol which looked like the letter A covered in a circle and some weird logos, and there was one letter which had the crucifix upside down with words like 'Blasphemous evil 666 madness' written in them. Of course it was all too funny to mention because I never knew our local talents were THAT creative."
"So anyway we sifted through a few letters then we came across this one letter which was handwritten and it came from this local metal band called Demolished. Since the handwriting was horrible but at least decipherable compared to the rest, we decided to read it and it came from one of their members called Rik or something like that and even though the handwriting was horrible, we managed to catch parts of it which stated stuff like 'Singapore is a wonderful country, and we would be honoured to play for this year's NDP.' and also 'I love the government because it treats the local arts scene very seriously which keeps my morale high' or something like that. Of course we were moved to tears so we decided to contact them to give them a chance to play in this year's parade. Besides I loved their band name Demolished since it explains a lot about the local music scene anyway."
So I sent Rik an e-mail to ask if they were interested in playing in what could be THE biggest event in Singapore this year since every other big thing gets cancelled anyway. And even though I have not recieved any reply yet, I am upbeat about this whole thing, it would be really cool for them to play in the NDP and furthermore it could yield a possible recording contract for them so we can boast that at least we finally have local talents.
Our reporters contacted Rik to ask him about this whole issue but what he said totally bemused us, "Huh? What the hell? I wrote that letter for fun to tell the organising committee that Singapore is a very wonderful country only after I have drunk 7 shots of Vodka and the National Day Parade is nothing but mindless propaganda, I would love to piss on the participants", without hesitation he also added on by saying "Vodka keeps my morale high especially since the arts scene here is too demoralising." and then he staggered off back to bed among 4 bottles of Vodka in his room.
We then tried to contact Donatello but failed, the last we heard from his colleagues was that he tore up the letters which he received and muttered something about demolishing the local music scene, but he couldn't be reached for comment. So it is still unsure if Demolished will get to play in this year's NDP but if they do, it would definitely be one to look out for as their unique blend of metalcore and heavy metal music would sure move the 50000 people in the stadium... literally.
* Disclaimer: All subjects mentioned in the above article is purely fictional and any resemblance to any person living or dead is pure coincidential.